Lonely In Singapore

Yesterday I would say one of the saddest for me in Singapore. I came late from work and heading toward my normal eating place in Woodland Causeway Point ASAP.

Suddenly, a tourist from Indian asked me the way to get to the Choa Chu Kang MRT. Seeing he is a bit blur and nervous. I decide to detour the normal way in which I get down earlier at after Mandai Road. So I decided to come down at Choa Chu Kang instead and have my dinner at nearest food court.

However then there was another tourist from Hong Kong this time inquiring about how to get there as well. Feeling there was need for me to show my good samaritan, I decided to my innitial place to have dinner at Causeway Point. But this time I will be using the MRT in which it will be slower for me to reach.

Well, things didnt turn up as I think it will be. Those two ungrateful tourist just left and without saying a word of thanks even though I sacrifice my dinner for them so they wont get lost in their way. I dont actually expect a word of thanks from them. I really sincerely want to help them because I was like them not too long ago. Still at least give a smile is all that I wish for. May be they think I could be some kind of a conman or something like that ? Well I choose to forget about that and still be a good samaritan again.

So with heavy heart and hungry stomach, I headed toward Woodland Causeway Point for a nice hearty dinner. But that was not to be, when I do reach the Food Court in Causeway Point, all the stall had closed. Man what a big disappointed ! Is this the kind of payment that I get when I do good things for the society? So depressed over it.

So having no choice, I decide to have my dinner at a steak house. This is the first time that I have a dinner alone in a steak house. It kind of sad do, having your steak alot in night with the waiter and waitress staring at you for being having your dinner alone and also coming in for a meal so late.

This incident give me the sad feeling that I used to when I was in college. I used to have dinner alone daily in my college years. I think it could be one of the main reason why I decided to find a girl friend. It really bring those sad memories. I will be eating alone staring at peoples eating with their partners and also their friends. I would rush to eat my food. Partly because I want to fill up my stomach and also prevent my other friend seeing me eat alone.

Why do I always to have to bear a lot of loneliness in my life? I thought things will be different for me when I start working.

Yup I sometimes wish to have some privacy. But all the time I just wish to be in company with somebody. I wonder if I am the only one with this kind of feeling? Or other people in this world would face the same thing as well.

Something I would lie that I prefer that way so that I could concentrate with my work. But he end of the day I would just think that I am a loner and simply a loser. I just too strange and irritating to most people. They just prefer to hang out with someone more cool and friendly instead of me.

Well, I guess no man is an island. Especially for someone who life in an island alone!

BRAIN DRAIN

Well this isnt something new to Malaysia. Every year, a numbers of Malaysian choose to leave the country after completing their studies or after they had better offered in foreign countries(normally more developed countries).

To be honest, I always hated such type of peoples. How could they do something so dreadful to the country that nurtured them! Recently this also became a national issue in which talented graduates choose to work in other countries instead of Malaysia right after graduate.

I always think that this will definitely hinder our nation strive to be a developed nation. And this act of brain drain is an act of un-patriotic to our nation and human greed over the love of the nation.

The normal excuse for these running away individuals is that the nation is not providing the necessary opportunities for them to contribute the knowledge they acquired. And off course, Malaysia also did not offer them the better salary compare to other countries.

When I heard such excuses, I personally I think it is a lame excuse for being greedy and un-patriotic!

However things are different now, I just offered a job position in some other country. This job offer is by all means better and more juicier!

The temptation for me to take this offer is huge. But deep in my mind, I am fully aware of the passed feeling and opinion of mind of critizing these brain drain issue. So I solely deep in my soul said to myself that I will not be over come by such lure.

I always wish to be a lecturer because I have a passion to teach people. I also very active in extra curiculum activities during my undergraduate years. My CGPA is also above average and by all means fit for the purpose to be accepted the post as a tutor.

But these dream of mind could not be materialized! I was not offered the post of tutor and the worse thing is that peoples that are far less qualified for the post are offered the position. I know it is wrong and arrogant for me to say that but it is the truth.

It totally makes me sick to the limits! And I am by all means very frustrated and disappointed with the management that choose these peoples!

Even with such let down, I still persistent with my dream of becoming a lecturer. So I decide to take up master (I am not smart enough to straight to jump to PHD!). The faculty promises that they will pay for the registration of my master studies.

But when the day come for my registration, I had to pay everything on my own and judging from the small salary that I have, this definitely is a big set back to my life.

Being an active person during my undergraduate years, I was offered many job position prior to my study completion . I turned down all of these offer simply because I believe that I could contribute a lot to the nation when I serve as a lecturer in a public universities.

But with all of this set back, I was very depressed because my mind begins to keep telling me that I had made the wrong decision. Because the prospect of me becoming a lecturer is now very dim. I began to think I could to well in other fields that give better salary and job condition.

Nevertheless, I still decide to stay back. Why? Well, I still believe that it will be a big waste for the nation if I choose to work in a private firm. So I sacrifice myself with a low pay wage whereas my other coursemate enjoys a better working condition.

Then came the biggest blow of all. There was a recent congress for my profession. This congress discuss the latest issue regarding the nation and our profession. It is vital for the new tutors to attend such congress to strengthen their knowledge and their ties in the field.

Guess what? None of the new tutors came for this congress. The only person who came for this congress is me! The person that have no prospect of becoming a lecturer.

So the message that I got here is this. These future lecturers (the tutors) had no passion for their job! I doubt they have any passion in teaching and in research. God know why they want to be lecturers. For glamour? Money? Or Easy Jobs?I leave them to answer.

A few days after that congress, came the biggest and the most shocking news of all. I was given a post in Singapore. This post is really a post that everybody in my position would love to take. I was very taken aback by this offer. My family also agree with the idea of me taking this offer because that it offer better salary and of course it gave the job satisfactory that I wishes.

It was really a tough decision for me to make. I had to ask around for opinions. Whether I should take this once in a life time offer. Most of my friends and lecturers urge me to take the offer as it is a good experience.

On my account I am happy with the offer because I could live near my family as my hometown in JB, and the position that it offer is much more exciting than what I am doing now.

There are also people that urge me not to go. Guess who? These came from the tutors. They told me to be patient as there will be other opportunities for me to become lecturers. They also assure me that the university will take me one day after I complete my studies. This assurance came from people that have no problem with there jobs and never been through my situation. The malay word for this is sembang manis sahaja.

So this how a person who love the nation so much, became part of the brain drain. But if you ask me if I go got the tutorship in the faculty the first place, will I take the offer in Singapore?

The answer is no. That because by then I know that my future is secure and the university recognise my abilities!